Caitlin Díaz, Filmmaker and Colorist

Interview: Jesy Odio
Portraits: Caitlin Díaz

A creature of rituals and magic, a witch of celluloid, Caitlin Díaz has the power to alter, accentuate, and highlight the pigments of the moving image. As a director, editor, and very often, colorist, Caitlin has that rare combination of a sensitive soul and a pragmatic brain.

A Rio Grande Valley transplant, she is currently deep inside her cave in Pasadena working with hues, tones and shades, but she’s readying herself for the new paradigm, post-quarantine.

**Her most recent color grading project, Generations, directed by Lynne Siefert, premiered at Berlinale, one of the few major film festivals that occurred before this year’s COVID-19 pandemic.**

Lynne Siefert, 2020. Generations. — Lynne Siefert, 2020. *Generations.*

Can you describe your last few weeks ? I feel like I didn’t have a chance to process this intense shift when lockdown first started. I was wrapping up a few color jobs and they fortunately didn’t get postponed further. At first, it didn’t feel much different from my normal day-to-day: I work at my studio that is close to home and pretty isolated, so I’m already not around people that much. I spend a lot of my time alone in dark rooms…

It started to really hit me after a couple of weeks, when I finally allowed myself the space and energy to process what was happening. Not having the luxury of hugging my friends and family and spending time with them physically has been surprisingly hard for me. I’ve spent a lot of time reflecting, meditating, and going inward. I didn’t realize that I had been avoiding doing that work. At the beginning of 2020, I mapped out my goals for each month. I had a lot of personal and collaborative projects on my plate and I am the type of person that needs to see it all laid out in front of me. As soon as this pandemic became our reality, I had to tear up that list and throw it away. Little did I know I was causing myself stress by piling on too much, trying to keep myself busy. I began questioning my motives: “Why do you do this? Why are these goals important? Are they ego driven?” So I’ve been working through those types of questions, re-evaluating my priorities and goals, finding ways to shift my perception of the world around me and my place in it.

How do you find yourself connecting with others? With virtual hang out sessions. Growing up on the Internet, I was always ‘online’ so this is really giving me those nostalgic teen vibes. I have a group chat with my close girlfriends, my family, my partner’s family, etc. Sometimes it’s a spontaneous meet-up via Houseparty or a weekend date to Zoom/Facetime and play video games. The yoga studio in my neighborhood has transitioned to online classes so that’s been extremely helpful in staying connected and grounded in my spiritual and physical practices. My neighbors are super thoughtful and have been placing boxes of excess fruits, herbs, veggies and plants from their gardens for the community to grab while out on walks.

What has worked and hasn’t worked for you during quarantine? I’m very fortunate to have my home, food and health. So many people don’t have those luxuries right now and I don’t want to disregard that. I try to avoid overwhelming myself with the bigger issues I have no control over and finding ways I can make a difference in my immediate community. Donating funds, sharing resources, checking in with friends and family who are by themselves, brainstorming new ways of existing in society; those are all good ways for me to avoid overwhelm.

Exploring inner landscapes has been the theme of my quarantine. A lot of self reflection and assessing the needs that I have and the needs of people that I love. A lot of abstract thinking. I have no answers. My emotions have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride.

You’re being more precious with yourself. Exactly. And with my time. Time kind of blends right now. Having a schedule in place helps but you need to be flexible. I’ve been able to establish a nice morning routine that includes meditation, a daily tarot pull, journaling and stretching. I had been wanting to do something like this for myself for a while, but I kept putting it off. Now I have the time to really adjust my habits and find out the things I need to feel whole.

Do you remember your first experience with color? I’ve always loved color and iridescence. I’ve always been drawn to sparkly, bright things. Throughout middle school and high school, I experimented with clothing, fabrics, and hair color. We all associate colors to emotions, memories, and times in our lives. Colors have a spirit of their own and finding ways to connect to them on a personal level is something I’m very interested in.

When I moved to LA in 2014, I worked at a boutique post house and trained under an incredible colorist. I was scanning film and learning the digital intermediate workflow as well as film restoration workflows. Scanning film negative and transforming it into a dynamic image in the color room was such a game changer for me. I began to study color theory using Johannes Itten’s color exercises that he developed at the Bauhaus. I fell in love with tinting and toning, developing a hue across various tonal ranges. All of those independent studies carried into my work as a film colorist and filmmaker.

Since you have a color background, do you lean towards specific palettes when you’re directing? Production design, costumes, locations, and lighting all play serious roles in terms of color. Thinking about the space your characters inhabit and how that transforms not just the overall aesthetic of the film but also the emotional aspect of the story. Colors also feed into any symbology you are consciously or subconsciously embedding into the film. I’ve definitely become more attuned to all of that.

Have you always been curious about the intersection of the political and the personal?I become easily overwhelmed by injustices and the aspects of society that we are forced into or we are brought up in. It’s taken me a long time to parse through these layers within myself. It’s a daily exercise—exhausting but necessary. The personal becomes political when you begin to consciously dismantle habits and perceptions that no longer serve you or the future of our world. That is our way to shift into a new paradigm especially at this specific moment in time.

I didn’t realize how personal my films were until I made a few of them. Cinema as an art is like decoding a secret language. Throughout the process, I’m usually trying to recreate a memory through sounds, abstractions, and emotions. This process usually embodies a mixture of politics, social orders, the way I was brought up, the way women are told to exist in the world. I usually work in isolation, as most of my films are hand-painted and self-shot works. Doing everything myself gives me the time to sift through what it is I’m trying to say with a certain piece, figuring out how all the parts fit together. It’s like a puzzle. I’m still in the editing process on a film I shot four years ago. It’s difficult becoming so intimately intertwined with your art but it’s the only way I feel I can create anything.

How did you discover the art of tarot? I’ve been into tarot for more than a decade. I’ve received readings from different curanderas and friends in every place I’ve lived. One of my best friends gifted me my own deck years ago which sparked my interest in learning how to read spreads for myself. I’ve always found tarot as a form of therapy. Its essence of archetypal storytelling allows for you to place yourself in the middle of the plot and see where you stand. It helps me think about my current headspace, what’s driving me to make certain choices, what paths are opening or closing for me.

Today I pulled the High Priestess reversed. She’s my favorite. Whenever she shows up, it’s always welcome. The card represents a moment in time where you can exist between the physical and the spiritual realm. She wants you to embrace your internal knowledge. You already know everything you need to know to make even the most difficult of decisions. In reverse, she asks if you’ve been ignoring your intuition. She’s asking me to pay attention to any signs or symbols that can possibly bring forth some answers. Find the magick in everyday living, continue journeying inward to find source. Source is usually the ocean for me. Right now, I really miss the simple luxury of being able to drive out to the coast and take a dip in the water.

What was your experience working on Generations with Lynne Siefert? Working with Lynne was a really pleasurable and exciting experience. I loved the way she approached such an important environmental concern in a painterly way. The beautifully composed and exposed 16mm images were brought to life by her using various paintings such as George Inness’ 1856 painting, “The Lackawanna Valley” as her color references. Finding creative ways to translate a painting’s essence through digital color correction techniques was extremely rewarding for me as a colorist. We spent time isolating specific areas, finding ways to make the image look natural yet accentuated.

What have you learned about yourself during this time?I’ve realized that it’s time to stop ignoring my inner voice and make time to reconnect with myself. I’ve also learned how to be more accepting of circumstances and relinquishing control over things that are beyond my control. There is a balance between laying the foundation for a stable future, celebrating all you’ve already accomplished and setting future goals. Do not get attached to plans because everything and everyone is always in flux.

We are all entering a new era. Right now, I think we should all reconnect with ourselves. Who do we want to be and how will we show up for one another? I feel like we’re on the precipice of major societal change. This hope is what is holding me together.